{"id":122872,"date":"2012-07-24T12:31:21","date_gmt":"2012-07-24T12:31:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/?p=122872"},"modified":"2012-07-24T12:31:21","modified_gmt":"2012-07-24T12:31:21","slug":"notes-to-my-future-husband-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/?p=122872","title":{"rendered":"NOTES TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><em><strong>MIDNIGHT SNACKS<br \/>\nIt\u2019s late. You\u2019re hungry. Feel free to climb out of bed and raid the fridge, but hurry back, because I guarantee you\u2019re not gonna find anything as delicious as my pussy.<\/strong><\/em><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>THE TOILET SEAT<br \/>\nPut that shit down. Always. Nobody wants to see the splatter of your bodily fluids.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>NO MATTER HOW EARLY IN THE MORNING, WE WILL ALWAYS DRIVE EACH OTHER TO THE AIRPORT.<br \/>\nAs far as I\u2019m concerned, that should be in the wedding vows.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>A RATIONAL, INTELLIGENT ARGUMENT<br \/>\nI don\u2019t mind having one. I don\u2019t even mind losing one. I only mind if you don\u2019t know how to make one.<br \/><\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>GO AHEAD. ASK SIRI HOW TO CHANGE A FLAT TIRE.<br \/>\nI will never let you forget this moment for as long as we both shall live.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>COUPLES COUNSELING IS FOR PUSSIES<br \/>\nLet\u2019s go rob a bank together.<\/strong><em><\/em><\/h2>\n<p>&ldquo;A BITCH&rsquo;S GUIDE TO HAPPILY EVER AFTER&rdquo;! Go check this funny little blog <a href=\"http:\/\/notestomyfuturehusband.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here <\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"tumblrize-permalink\"><a href=\"http:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/?p=32678\" title=\"Go to original post at The Curious Brain\" rel=\"bookmark noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Original Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>MIDNIGHT SNACKS It\u2019s late. You\u2019re hungry. Feel free to climb out of bed and raid the fridge, but hurry back, because I guarantee you\u2019re not gonna find anything as delicious as my pussy. THE TOILET SEAT Put that shit down. Always. Nobody wants to see the splatter of your bodily fluids. NO MATTER HOW EARLY [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[493],"class_list":["post-122872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-other-stuff","tag-tumblrize"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=122872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122872\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=122872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=122872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecuriousbrain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=122872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}