There’s this quote that’s been stuck in my head:
“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.”
Naya Rivera said that. And the truth in it is hard to ignore.
Most of us go through life not seeing ourselves clearly.
We see the mistakes. The missed chances. The things we wish we could’ve done better. We focus on our flaws—what we’re not—so much that we lose sight of what we actually are.
That’s the irony. The people around us—our friends, our kids, our partners, our coworkers—they see something else entirely. They see our strength. Our decency. The way we show up when it counts. They see the quiet grace we carry through hard days. The good we bring into the room without even knowing it.
But because we’re the ones living it—inside the struggle, inside the uncertainty—we’re blind to it.
That’s not a failure of character. That’s being human.
I’ve met leaders, artists, teachers, single parents, old and young people with nothing but heart—folks who’ve carried the weight of entire communities—and still don’t believe they’re enough. They downplay their brilliance. Shrug off their resilience. They’ll say things like, “I’m just doing what I had to do.” But that’s the point. That’s what makes it remarkable.
See, the world conditions us to constantly question our worth. To wait for someone else to validate us. We’re always reaching for some milestone—some external proof—that we matter.
But the truth is, some of the most powerful things you’ll ever do… you’ll do quietly. And you might never get the full picture of what you meant to someone else.
That doesn’t make your contribution any smaller. It makes it real.
So here’s what I think:
We need to get better at telling each other the truth. The good kind.
We need to say: “Hey, I see you. You’re doing more than you think. You’re carrying more than people know. And you’re handling it with more grace than you realize.”
And we need to get better at hearing it—without brushing it off. Without changing the subject. Without turning away.
Because if a butterfly could see its own wings, it might fly a little differently.
If you could see what others see in you, you might too.
You don’t need to become someone else to be worthy.
You don’t need to perform to matter.
You just need to remember: the wings are already there.
And maybe today’s the day you start learning how to use them.