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The year is 2025.
AI can write symphonies, flirt better than poets, and generate fake people with better skin than me.
And yet… my “AI-powered browser” can’t block an ad for toenail fungus cream.

ChatGPT Atlas promised to redefine browsing.
Turns out, it just redefined how many ads I can accidentally click before enlightenment.

You’d think a browser made by the same entity that writes entire novels in one breath could, at the very least, install a VPN or an adblocker.
But no. Atlas is like that friend who swears they’re “super into privacy” … while loudly asking Siri where to buy condoms.

Meanwhile, Brave sits in the corner like a smug monk — whispering, “no trackers, no ads, no nonsense.”
Atlas, on the other hand, feels like a beautiful glass house… built on a billboard.

I tried asking it to “block ads.”
It politely replied, “I can’t do that yet.”
Which is wild, because it can explain Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem, simulate Nietzsche, and write erotic haikus about capitalism.
But sure …. blocking popups? Too advanced.

At this point, I half expect the next update to feature a “Buy Now” button on every moral decision I make.

Maybe they’ll call it AdSense of Self™.

Don’t get me wrong … I love Atlas.
It’s sleek, intelligent, and occasionally existential.
But when the smartest browser in the world lets me get ambushed by “You won’t believe what she looks like now” banners, I start to wonder who’s learning from who.

Maybe next update they’ll add a soul.
Or, you know … an adblocker.

Today, September 12, the European Union stands at a breaking point. Behind the dry name “Regulation to Prevent and Combat Child Sexual Abuse” hides a law that would scan every private message sent across the continent. WhatsApp. Signal. Telegram. None would escape. Encryption would be gutted before it even begins.

The idea is sold as protection for children. The reality is the birth of mass surveillance in Europe.

Germany is the Decider

Fifteen governments have lined up in support. Yet they lack the population weight to push it through. Germany alone carries enough heft to make or break the law. If Berlin backs it, the measure passes. If Berlin resists, it collapses. If Berlin hesitates, the door opens to a watered-down compromise that is no less dangerous.

This is not just another policy debate. It is a turning point in Europe’s identity. Germany is not voting on a technicality. It is choosing whether every citizen will be treated as a suspect by default.

Why the Law is Rotten

The technology does not work. Filters cannot reliably identify abuse material. False alarms will overwhelm investigators. Real predators will slip through unnoticed. Courts in both Luxembourg and Karlsruhe have already warned against blanket surveillance. The law is built on shaky ground, legally and technically.

And the moral cost is staggering. A society that normalizes scanning every private word has abandoned the presumption of innocence. The right to whisper without permission is not a luxury. It is the bedrock of democracy.

The Mirage of Safety

Child protection is sacred, but it demands real solutions. Better investigators. Faster cross-border cooperation. Proper funding for Europol. Not a blunt instrument that spies on everyone while failing the very children it claims to defend.

Surveillance does not equal safety. It equals control. And once control is given, it is never returned.

The Choice

This is more than a law. It is a declaration of what kind of Europe we want to inhabit. One path leads to a continent of suspicion, where private speech exists only by state permission. The other path preserves Europe as the last great defender of digital freedom in a world where both Washington and Beijing demand backdoors.

The Question

If Germany votes yes, it will not simply pass a regulation. It will write the obituary of Europe’s private life.

The question for today is not what happens if we reject Chat Control. The question is what happens to Europe if we accept it.

Because once the right to whisper is gone, the silence that follows will not belong to the children. It will belong to all of us.

now you know!

This is 💸 Billionaire Roleplaying 💸, a satire comedy community based around taking up the persona of a greedy billionaire.

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