It’s Time! (To Remind the Poor to Shop, Apparently)

Ah, November. The leaves fall, the bills pile up, and Mariah Carey emerges from her cryogenic chamber to sell us self-love…this time, in partnership with Sephora. “It’s Time!” For what, exactly? Apparently, for late-stage capitalism to hit a new low, soundtracked by a jingle we can’t escape even in the checkout queue.

This year’s “festive” blockbuster stars a luxury-drenched Mariah sparring with a unionising elf, exhausted from Christmas labour. His wish? “Elf therapy.” Because, of course, nothing heals burnout faster than monetising it, with a side of Luminous Glow highlighter. In the gospel of beauty marketing, trauma is temporary, shimmer is forever.

Sephora’s Instagram sleight of hand, perfectly timed for an era of record inflation and wage stagnation, achieves the impossible: it’s both aspirational and tone-deaf. “Treat yourself,” the campaign urges, as audiences juggle whether to treat their family to heat or dinner this December. Mariah’s not here to liberate anyone from the grind she’s here to remind us we’re only a purchase away from happiness, if we splurge hard enough.

The real miracle of It’s Time! isn’t the production value or the elf’s labour rights negotiationit’s the collective amnesia it assumes: that anyone can forget retail therapy is what created this mess. The only truly relatable scene? The elf threatening to sell everything just to survive the holidays ….a story most of us could tell without the glitter.

Social media tore through the campaign like wrapping paper in a clearance bin: “Classist.” “Out of touch.” “No bells, no cheer, all branding.” When your best defence is “At least we didn’t use AI,” you’ve already lost the plot….and the original song—about wanting love, not luxury..has never sounded more like a hostage soundtrack for sponsored despair.

Meanwhile, Mariah and Sephora play the world’s tiniest violin…probably available, gold-plated, exclusively at Sephora.com. Because who needs accountability when you’ve got influencers, elf therapy, and a hundred million views to monetise?

So yes, Mariah…it’s time. Time to remember that for most people, the true miracle would be brands not weaponising “self-care” as an answer to poverty. Or, at the very least, next year, let the elves unionise on camera. Who knows? Revolution might just go viral.